Unyielding Kindness

There’s a lesson I’ve been learning over the past few years: not to make concessions. For various reasons—mental fatigue, trying to avoid conflict, or a misguided sense of fairness that sometimes pushes me to seek balance in decision-making. In hindsight, and trying to be as objective as possible, I’ve realized that every time I’ve split the difference in a technical decision, it’s turned out for the worse.

And by fixing the messes I agreed to in the first place, I’ve come to understand that the long-term damage isn’t worth the short-term benefit of sparing someone’s ego. We do no favors—neither to others nor to ourselves. Fortunately, everything can be mended, and I’ve been improving, developing a set of habits and strategies that require practice and consistency. I’d sum them up in the following points:

Remove the feelings; to make decisions based on objective facts, you must let go of both positive and negative emotional bias. This allows conversations to shift from personal preference to factual grounding: back up your statements with evidence, don’t be afraid to admit when you’re wrong, and welcome corrections that help you improve. From this place, it becomes much easier to defend a position without guilt.

Maintain your energy; take care of your body and mind daily to be ready for the challenges ahead—our duty as professionals is to take the necessary steps to maximize our potential. If you feel like you’re operating at half capacity, examine your diet, activity, and rest. Doing so will bring not only more energy but also better emotional readiness to practice the previous point.

Finally: be kind. And I mean it in the deeper sense of the word—beyond smiling and pleasing. Strive to do what’s truly best for others and yourself, even if that sometimes means confronting ideas, correcting mistakes, or pointing out bad habits. You’re not being kinder by allowing behaviors that harm the person or the team just to spare them discomfort.

It’s not easy, but the results begin to pay off gradually. And to wrap it up, remember: you can always turn things around.

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